I cannot believe I’m writing this. And that’s what I always heard other people say…

This is a story that we will be telling for the rest of our lives, because it was such a BIG part of our story. For 6 years we struggled with unexplained infertility, 2 miscarriages and what we thought was a failed adoption. I’ve been sharing our story all along with you friends… very open and with a resolve to not give up on the Lord.

Not on the premise that He would answer our prayer, but a resolve to not give up on loving and drawing close to God. THIS STORY IS ONE OF MIRACLES AND THAT WILL BUILD YOUR FAITH. WE TELL IT TO TESTIFY…. but the true miracle, is that God remains with us in every single season. HE is the ultimate miracle- not the “thing”. God with us. Holding us. Hearing us. Moving on our behalf. Writing His glorious story within our lives, and allowing us to live a life abundant even when pain is a part of it.

We filmed our adoption story; come on in, get cozy and let’s get your hopes up!

If you’d rather read the story… you can find it below <3.

You get to a point where you don’t know if it will happen, growing your family. We certainly did. And I don’t say that flippantly… you’ve seen me and heard my heart in the smack dab middle of deep grief and waiting for 6 years. I used to get annoyed when I would hear people say, “I didn’t know if it would ever happen… but God.” It bothered me.

Because I thought, “well GREAT for you… but here I am. Continuing to be passed by.” “GREAT for you… but that’s not what’s happening for me…. year after year. And I just don’t know WHY.”

I had all the thoughts. All the emotions. I could write a book about it… ;) perhaps I will.

To be even more honest with you, 2025 was the year that broke me AND the year the miraculous happened. I got to a hopeless place… and I don’t get hopeless often. I mean I have mentored hundreds of women around a slogan of “Get Your Hopes Up” for crying out loud haha.

But the 2 losses we experienced in 2025, after 6 years of waiting and an 11wk miscarriage 4 years ago, broke me. And I entered a deep deep grief. A hopeless, depressive state. But God held me. The sadness wasn’t forever or even 24/7 consuming every day.

God held me. And that is the HOPE of the story…. even moreso than this miracle. And that’s what I want you to know above all. God holds you, my friend.

Don’t give up on Him… I blogged about that here.

But today, I’m sitting at my favorite coffee shop sipping on a chai and facing their beautiful Christmas tree …. I came here to journal and write our story down. Because I didn’t want to forget any part of this story.

God is in the details after all, it’s where we see the most SEEN by Him. And He is so kind to be in the details of your life too, not just in the big “miracle” ending…

The true miracle, is that God remains with us. Holding us. Hearing us. Moving on our behalf. Writing His glorious story within our lives, and allowing us to live a life abundant even when pain is a part of it.

That’s the kind of God you and I serve, my friend. It’s CRAZY.

To be honest, it feels risky to come here and journal our story.

Because we were told this adoption had failed 2 months ago… my heart broken and anticipation stolen once again. But now, God has redeemed it. And while my heart wants to remain guarded to prevent more hurt… I know that God will hold me. And so I want to make the choice, to journal anyway.

To write the story down anyway. To celebrate anyway and not miss this opportunity. What I’ve prayed and waited so long for.

To go all in on my love for this baby.

So if you’re looking for a story that shows you the kindness and steadfastness of a miraculous God… get cozy and let your faith rise.

We share our story, and have all along in the middle and waiting, because it’s a testimony we lay out before the Lord. I won’t deny Him His glory.

He received glory IN THE MIDDLE. Before this miracle… because He was THERE. Redeeming me, saving me, holding me, letting me be fruitful in other ways, growing and maturing me. Drawing me closer to an intimate confidence in who He is.

HE RECEIVES THE GLORY. Not our blessings.

But my oh my, this baby, is the blessing of His promises fulfilled.

And IF GOD IS DOING IT FOR US… then it IS POSSIBLE for you.

I used to wince at that statement, because when you can’t see it… you can’t see it.

But please. Please. Please… take my faith and let it breathe fresh HOPE into yours. Let it strengthen yours. It IS possible that God is way better than you think He is.

Do. not. give. up. on Him.

Our adoption story is the greatest story that I could have NEVER written. And I’m thankful God was the author.

So, here’s the story. <3

1.5 years ago we felt the gentle nudge to adopt. Not this big lights in the sky sign from Heaven, just a gentle leading to step into it. I questioned the nudge, because it wasn’t this BIG sign… was God actually speaking?

But after talking with some friends, who had adopted and were adopted, at dinner one night (shout out Lori and Rachel) one of them told me “Why do you think that God speaking has to be this big, grand thing? Can it also be a gentle leading?”

It still makes me cry and my spirit tender to hear that.

I knew it was the Lord speaking through them (POWER OF COMMUNITY).

So we took the step, and got started with our Home Study in December 2023.

After completing our Home Study, we waited 1.5 years with basically hearing nothing. Just waiting… on top of even more waiting in our fertility journey.

In May of 2025 I experienced our second miscarriage, an ectopic pregnancy after an IUI, and as my body was healing from that our home study was due for renewal. It had been one year.

I didn’t want to pay the $700 to renew it… I thought, “WHAT IS THE POINT?!”.

I was in fresh grief from our ectopic…

but I knew we just had to renew it. It was a decision of straight FAITH, no happy feelings or hopeful feelings about it.

I couldn’t understand what God was doing.

And that’s okay. Faith can happen anyway.

Get this though… If I had not had that ectopic, if my IUI would have resulted in a healthy pregnancy, I don’t know if we would have renewed our home study right away.

But we did, and a few months later in September (right before our second Refresh Retreat of the year), we got a call from our dear friend “Birdie” that her daughter had entered into the same exact adoption agency we were in.

And something in our hearts fluttered. “I think this is our baby.”

What’s CRAZY is that it was THIS friend “Birdie” who even introduced us to this agency in the first place, because she herself had adopted through them.

It was THIS friend who was one of the first to know when I experienced my first miscarriage. Who walked with me during my grief and related to me because of her own story with miscarriage and loss.

We were close to this friend, we loved her family and her kids, we walked and did life with her… we could have NEVER imagined that one day this would be our story.

We began praying for this birth mom, God placed her heavily on our hearts.

And after about a week, our agent called us.

This sweet birth mom wanted us, as soon as she found out we were in the agency.

“Ryan and Lanissa. Ryan and Lanissa. Ryan and Lanissa… that’s who I want.”, she said.

We took the weekend to pray, even though we really didn’t need to hahaha, and of COURSE said what our hearts and spirits already knew… yes. <3

CRAZY PART?

This sweet baby would have been conceived around the same time I had my ectopic pregnancy. And her due date was the same month I got pregnant with our first baby who we lost.

We quickly told our people and with God’s grace through His CHURCH, we were able to raise $18,000 in one day in order to finalize our yes to this adoption.

It was absolutely incredible. The morning after we said yes, while still raising that money, we went into work at our Church office and the staff was overflowing with JOY and excitement for us.

It’s a moment I never want to forget.

Our staff, trustees and kingdom builders came together and sowed into this answered prayer without hesitation.

My dear prayer warrior for Refresh Retreats, Mama Nancy texted me and said “How much are you still needing to raise? I want to cover it. i’ve been praying and waiting for God to tell me how to spend this money and this is it. This feels good.” She drove over with a check for $7,000, a SWEET handwritten note and a flower freshly picked from her garden.

When my co-workers (Liz G., Kandice etc.) found out what Nancy had done, they SQUEALED AND SCREAMED AND JUMPED UP AND DOWN AND PRAISED GOD WITH ME AND LAUGHED HYSTERICALLY AND HUGGED ME OVER AND OVER.

The excitement I never thought I would get because of our recurrent loss… they let it flow freely. <3

They were so happy for me. And that meant so much to my soul after so many years.

My friend Christine came up to me as soon as we got to the Church offices and said, “Now I can tell you. My mom (who does childcare at our Church for staff) told me she kept having this dream that in the beginning of 2026, your baby would be in the childcare. I kept telling her that’s physically impossible pregnancy wise, but she insisted. AND NOW IT’S COMING TO PASS.”

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!? It’s these words that God speaks, to people I trust but often would least expect, that I treasure in my heart.

I’ve received words like this for YEARS, guys. I’m talking 4 YEARS. And in the long waiting, and process of grief, I was often frustrated that people told me those “words from God”.

“WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME THAT?”, I would think. “It’s obviously not coming to pass and it’s just confusing me…”

But I’m so so grateful for these words and treasuring them none the less.

They are the words of promise that gave me a glimmer of hope when I felt NONE.

They are the words I held on to, when my story wasn’t making sense. They are a huge part of my story, actually, because they were God’s kindness in the midst of my faith forming, questioning and waiting.

“I saw you pushing your baby in a black stroller out of the Church.” (J.)

“As I was praying for you in the spirit I saw over and over again God working inside of you, bringing about your baby and healing you." (N.)

“As I’ve been praying for you, I believe God is taking these 4 months after your ectopic to prepare your body. We are believing!!” (J.)

“I see you lifting your baby up to the sky, as an act of worship.” (S.)

“I literally kept seeing you pregnant up on that stage worshipping.”

“I’m not giving you a breakout session at the women’s conference because as Joey and I were praying outside this morning, we just fully believe you are going to have a baby at the end of January.” (A.- a few days after we thought the adoption had failed)

“God has really given me a clear mind about this adoption. It’s going to be okay.” (A.)

“I’ve been praying for you recently and felt so much joy around you in the baby department.” (S.- said 1 week after the adoption was back on)

You can’t make that up.

….. so we finalized our yes, headed to host our Refresh Retreat in the mountains, told the women on the last day, went on a girls trip to Waco where my friends bought me a mama necklace and a baby book, came home & bought a rocking chair….. and then got word that our adoption had failed. I share that part of the story here, along with how to grieve.

But this is a redemption story. <3 What we thought was the end to our adoption story, was simply a delay.

However it was in that delay, that God broke me down and built me back up.

I knew now more than EVER before… I wanted a baby and to raise a child with Ryan.

And after 2 months, we got word that our birth mom was back at the agency.

After a terrible, heartbreaking series of events, our birth mom said she never intended to go back on her adoption plan. She knew this is what she wanted and needed to do. And she is so brave and incredible for doing so. I honor our birth mom, I bless her and I LOVEEE her dearly. Also… she’s hilarious and amazing haha.

Our adoption was back on. <3

We took the night to pray about if we wanted to re-engage which, again, we really didn’t need to pray haha. We already knew… this was right.

Of course we said yes, again.

This sweet baby is SO loved. Her birth mom chose life twice. We chose her twice. She has always been held by the Father and knit beautifully together in the secret place.

Birth mom really wanted to see us, and we were so excited to see her. NERVES were high on both sides, but a week after saying yes we got to go see her in the hospital.

It was like a movie…. sitting in the waiting room with our gift (flowers, robe & slippers, coloring book and pencils/pouch, handwritten card mom to mom). Anxious, excited, disbelief.

We walked in and nerves quickly subsided. It had been years since we saw her, the last time she was just a preteen. We hugged, sat and talked about anything and everything for an hour.

We laughed, connected, and talked about dogs, food, sports, music, cravings, ultrasounds, all sorts of things.

Her and Ryan connected over preferring tater tots over french fries, loving ranch, McDonalds breakfast burritos and playing sports.

THE SWEETEST PARTS WERE:

When our agent accidentally slipped and said the gender of the baby. We all knew we were trying to keep it a secret and we died laughing. “Go into timeout Cynthia!” haha

It was a girl. Wow. My heart soared. How perfect, with knowing our birth mom.
She would randomly stop and say:
- My favorite worship song is Promises by Maverick City because you, Ryan, used to sing that when I was little at Church. You sound so much like him and I love it when you sing.
- This guy isn’t the father, Ryan is the father of this baby. Ryan and Lanissa are the parents.
- Have you thought of any baby names?
- Oh! I have to show you my baby app, I’m 30 weeks tomorrow and look! Baby is starting to smile and is this size…
- I just wanted to say I’m so excited you two were in the agency. Ever since I knew, I kept telling Cynthia: Ryan and Lanissa, Ryan and Lanissa, Ryan and Lanissa. I know you guys are going to be such great parents and I’m so thankful.

We got to pray with her and hug her once more.

A week later I sent up my homemade cinnamon rolls and a polaroid of us & Knox on Christmas day.

“Just got this from birth mom… Tell Lanissa that these are the best cinnamon rolls I have ever had. The frosting to roll ratio is perfect.” LOL

Our Pastors Wife really cares about our birth mom as well and cared for her along the way, visiting her often, talking to her/sharing truth etc.

It was an immense, immense blessing.

I’m just so grateful.

The Lord knows us and this type of adoption story is exactly what matched our personalities. No “competition” between potential matched families, knowing the birth mom and her family personally, having a support system.

The Lord was writing a story greater than we ever could have.

We thought baby was going to be born at the end of February… but instead just a week later, while we were at our friend’s house getting ready to reveal the gender to them… we got a text from our agent that baby was possibly coming TONIGHT. We freaked out!

Our friends are the besttt so we all jumped up and down and freaked out, then ran to target like college kids hehe because “you guys need stuff, you have nothing!! I feel like we should all go to target!”- Glenn.

So we did haha. We skipped into Target at 9pm and just had the best time being picking out things our friends thought we would need- it was a cherished memory.

Baby ended up being stable, so the next day we ANNOUNCED out adoption finally to the world. “WE’VE BEEN MATCHED WITH A BIRTH MOM & BABY IS COMING THIS WEEK!!!!!”….. adoption is expensive, but this was a moment I knew God would always take care of. Within 3 hours of posting that…. God’s people gathered from all over and we raised $22,000.

We spent the next two days trying to pick out a name and nesting (friends painted our baseboards LOL).

Then we got another text…. baby was probably coming TONIGHT. WHAT?! We immediately went up to the Hospital and waited in the Lobby. While we were there, the birth grandma (“Birdie”) came down and we hugged and were so happy simply to be re-united. “Can you believe this is happening?! Who would have made this story up!”.

We waited and waited in that Lobby… ordered Panda Express haha… with our AMAZING Adoption Agent spending time talking and laughing with us as we waited.

And then at 6:32pm… baby girl was born via c-section. 2lbs 6oz… 31 weeks… pink and puckered lips and CUTIE. She immediately went to the NICU, and because of recent NICU changes we couldn’t go see her right away.

With open hands we went home and waited until the day consents would be signed (which in FL is 48 hours after birth or at discharge of birth mom). That just so happened to be on January 1st. Not a day would go by in 2026, without our answered prayer.

BUT GET THIS…. ELIANNA WAS BORN ON DECEMBER 30, 2025. My due date with my ectopic pregnancy was Dec 28th, 2025!!! All those words from people at the beginning of 2025…. actually… came…. true. 2025, our girl was born and we got to be there. 2025 GOD ANSWERED OUR PRAYER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Elianna- My God Has Answered

AH! On January 1st, we went back up to the Hospital and spent one more time with the birth family before consents were signed and it was so sweet.

We laughed and joked around, talked about what the name would be… and then that night at 9pm Ryan and I were able to go up to the NICU and meet OUR Daughter in person for the very first time. Millions of people somehow saw our story and GOD RECEIVED THE GLORY DUE HIS NAME!

For the next 47 days we spent every single one at the NICU bonding with her.

Telling her stories, getting to know the Nurses. I have COUNTLESS stories of the nurses saying “no one can tell her she is small- she is a rockstar.” She surpassed everyone’s goals… one nurse even said “this is rare and a joy to watch her progression be so incredible.”

God’s hand was on Elianna, and we made sure the Nurses’ knew hehe.

We share more in the video above of how the NICU was TRULY A GIFT to us in so many ways, but one way I didn’t mention is that it almost became like a time of anticipation for me.

Anticipation is something that has been stolen from me 3 times now with miscarriages etc… and I prayed God would restore it. So even though Elianna came quickly, we got those sacred last 2 months of gestation tucked away in the NICU with her… getting to soak it in and experience that anticipation of bringing her home. It was during the NICU when I had my dream baby shower, and were we got to breathe and soak it all in before we came home and our lives would change forever.

Which it did… on February 14th (the day our Pastor prophesied she would weeks earlier). Valentines Day <3 She was discharged as a beautiful 4lb 5oz miracle.

I still can’t believe it. And I want to soak in every single moment and not forget this incredible story.

It’s a story that we will never stop telling, because it was a major time in our lives. A time where God transformed our souls… and if there’s one thing I would tell you my friends through it all…

Don’t give up on loving the Lord. Love Him in every single season.

Because HE IS A GOD WHO CARES FOR YOU.

I know I’ll keep on sharing more details but, for now, there’s the scoop hehe.

It actually happened… we’re a family of 3. We have a DAUGHTER. GOD SOMEHOW WOVE THIS BEAUTIFUL STORY TOGETHER AND ACTUALLY ANSWERED OUR PRAYER.

And as I sit on my couch tonight cuddling my girl (yes this blog took me a few months to write haha), my brain still hasn’t caught up to reality.

So my soul, which has been tended to for 6 years in the waiting, will just have to lead the way.

xoxo,

Lanissa

Our Miracle Adoption Story <3 (GOD ANSWERED!)