Wait On The Lord, My Friend. (coffee shop thoughts)

This week I’m on a girls trip to Magnolia in Waco Tx, with a group of women who I met online through this Blog. Some over 8 years ago, the Lord connected us somehow through Becoming. We’re from all over: Australia, the UK, Colombia, Pennlevania, Florida. And last week they all flew to attend their second (fourth… I see you Tiffany haha) Refresh Retreat. God met us. This week we continued on with a little girls trip and it’s come at such a sweet time.

Today we’re lingering at a coffee shop and I thought we could chat here for a bit.

For over 10 years I’ve been ministering to women (including these women) in the waiting seasons of life… and one thing I’ve always felt led to say is: Embrace God as you wait, because ONE day you’ll wake up and suddenly your waiting will be over.

You’ll get the text message, or the phone call that changes everything. And you’ll so clearly see how God didn’t just suddenly work everything out for your good, but He was actually WORKING ON things when you didn’t realize it at all.

In the middle of your grief and the nights you cried yourself to sleep… He was caring for you AND forming things together. In the middle of receiving the bad news, or having to make that difficult decision… He was there all along.

But you often don’t know that.

So even if He WASN’T… would you still worship Him? Would you still choose Jesus, over and over again simply because of who He is and His being with you.

God is so much better than we think that He is. So much grander. And He is so GOOD, that He IS moving when we can’t see Him.

But we don’t worship a move of God. You and I, my friend were created to simply worship God.

You know… loving and enjoying your God? It is literally the point of life. Your calling? It isn’t to be a preacher or influencer or business owner or even mother, your calling is to receive the invitation to accept the salvation of Jesus and sit at the table of God, and then to go and tell others the Good News.

Enjoying God and knowing Him is what life is all about.

And here’s the truth: we don’t live for the “end” of the wait.

We ought not to live out lives so focused on what we don’t have, fixating and attaching ourselves to that “un-answered prayer” that we miss what God is doing HERE and who God is HERE.

Your life is to be with the Lord. And THAT is where you find a resolve within your spirit. It’s where I’ve found mine, over and over again.

And it’s what I’ve been bawling my eyes over for the past few days reminiscing over.

It’s been the Lord and His presence alone that has kept me. I know the same is true for you, if you’ll let yourself see it. <3

It’s the love of God that has held us and carried us forward. Every good thing I have been able to experience has been set up by a God who had His eye on me.

It’s an honor to love the Lord. Don’t you think?

So when we get so caught up in the pain, the unanswered prayers or the waiting… when we get so caught up in the roles in life that we hold or don’t hold, the jobs we do day in and day out, to be honest we are missing it.

Here’s what I desire for you my friend: that in the MIDDLE of your waiting, the Lord could take you home and you would be fully content because of the purpose you experienced flourish in your waiting and the nearness of God you got to enjoy.

I have experienced something I NEVER thought I would in life.

My journey to motherhood and my husband’s journey to fatherhood felt stalled. Haulted. Long for no reason.

4 months ago, after 6 years of waiting and a tramautic miscarriage followed by 4 years of NOTHING, I experienced an ectopic pregnancy. It seemed like it came out of NO WHERE, for no reason at all.

“WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT ABOUT?!” was a heart cry I couldn’t get over.

I was hurt, and yet it was so out of left field that I couldn’t get over the sense in my spirit that it wasn’t an accident. God was doing something, but I had ABSOLUTELY ZERO ZIP ZELCH CLUE what it could be.

It wasn’t time for that yet. So I did what I NEEDED to do, and perhaps what you need to do as well. I grieved. Naturally. I had just lost another pregnancy, one that would have been my miracle rainbow pregnancy… and I needed to grieve.

My soul needed it. So I slowly just lived my life day by day and kept this deep resolve, “I love God more than it all. And I want Him. I won’t give up on Him.”

So I bitterly wept. I prayed and prayed. I finally got out of survival mode and just let my emotions be what they were. I told those in my life that I was grieving a fresh. I spent time in my backyard journaling with the Lord and seeking His face and hope to move forward. I processed with God. I asked questions… but was convicted to not make them an idol.

I limited my time of pouring out, and let God and others pour into me. I didn’t fake being happy at Church, I just was me. Sad, processing, angry and walking through the grief process.

Grief is so so so healing for the soul. In fact my friend, it’s NECESSARY.

You simply cannot walk through your life and become who God has created you to be and do what God has assigned you to do, without properly grieving. Multiple times in multiple seasons.

We were given tear ducts for a reason ;). Crying is a release. Grieving is what allows us to be cared for by the Lord and taken care of, before the promise of the other side is evident. So get your cry on <3. It’s okay.

So where do you need to let God take care of you today? How might God be inviting you to grieve what was so you can finally let the heavy weight of it go, and receive hope for your future again? How can you choose to fall back in love with the Lord and CHOOSE Him above it all, right where you are?

Because one day… you’ll wake up and everything will change.

You’ll suddenly be entered into a new season. God’s faithfulness and promises will reveal themselves.

But what will you worship? The answered prayer, or God Himself who you leaned into and never let go of all along?

He can be enough for you here. Because He is MORE than enough.

The Lord loves you so much my friend.

So what if you let God hold you in this season? And let that be enough.

He is our reward. He is deeply loving and mindful toward you. And oh my friend, you are held.

Don’t waste the season, okay?

Especially if it feels unsure or painful. Especially if it feels like it’s lingering in the waiting. Don’t just wait around. Take steps in your waiting, when you’re still unsure of the promise, and let Him use you IN THE MIDDLE.

Serve God, bless Him, bring others along into the faithfulness of God before the “promise” has arrived.

GOD is waiting for you to draw close. And He will draw even closer.

Because joy isn’t just available not the other side. It’s available wherever God is.

May the joy of the Lord become your strength my friend. <3

I can testify that in the middle of my waiting, it has become mine.

And I love God and this life. I’m grateful for every moment, that with Him He has made Holy.

I love you.

“Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn, and weep. Turn your laughter to mourning, and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will exalt you.” James 4:7-10

Holding hope for your future,

Lanissa xoxo